I find myself baring the weight of the present moment with anguish and desire. Spilling my mind like tides hitting the water just that far away. Caught unannounced in its entirety, finding faith in reason rather than particularised in denounced moments that are forced upon so many. I believe what you may call love, god, power, truth, maths, science, philosophy, ecology  to stand for it. The nature of knowing our place and providing for the place that we know cannot always be shared in language, but it can be shared. We help others and hope others help us in return, infinitely cooperating. Circle transitions still and cooling in one moment, could be squares in another.

Suppress society, save the children.


Something more important dawns on me every day like a weight, inverting the laws of gravity and ending up in my brain, resonating between my ears and throughout my body. Heavy and daunting it comes to me every now and again, sometimes when I am just not expecting it. Edging forward either from an ocular adventure or a specific decibel, the weight is the thought. The thought of the present and how we as human beings interact with it, but the thought is not that I live in the present, I burn with the thought of others. 

People. People. People. Children. Children. Children.

These are the thoughts that create me.

The fact that as I eat my apple, butter my bread, that someone is suffering. A child is dying because of what certain men decided to do. The men that think its right to bomb innocent people, from Vietnam, India, Pakistan, Rwanda, Nigeria.. well the list goes on really. Yet, because of these men, the system put in place by the same men, requires all individuals of a country to vote for the Tit on the left, or the Twat or the right. Yet we still abide by these rules because people are afraid of change, daunted by the inevitability that we still need imports to survive. Some would argue well, you have concreted over the most part of the country, not sure you are growing to grow much veg here! For whom to gain?

Men at some kind of top (monetary system) still, to this very second, find more importance in metals than in the life of people, animals and the environment. Ohh well I suppose we should be thankful for the fact that we have McDoodle’s and Besco at every corner, promoting the use of poorly sourced foods, with automated services whereby they only receive the profit margins, without reducing RRP and because of scale, making suppliers wait over a month to be paid, just because they can. Plus they receive interest whilst they are waiting whilst the farmer, for example goes out of pocket. So what?

We are all on this earth together.

I heard a song from Natty and right at the end of the song, a Rasta man speaks. He says:

What does it profit a man to gain the whole wide world under his one soul?

How can we help all children is what I think about, anytime I eat, drink? I can’t get it out of my head. It pains me so when I see people arguing in London, or complaining about fashion, other pointless things and thinking they are not privileged. To those people, you all know whom you are, take a second to be still and realise that you are fortunate to be born where you are and are fortunate to have clothes on your back and food in the fridge. Many people don’t, and most of all children don’t.

One Deep Wishing Well (to be continued)


Wells impact people more than one western man on a apple laptop would know. They provide one of the only needs in humans, that is the need to hydrate with that wonderful stuff, water. In the west we have lost what it actually means and replaced it with rules that don’t add up. Not that 1 + 1. We have running water, warm (in some cases) houses that have (in some cases) an abundance of: objects, electrics, food, warmth amongst other things that are seen as part of one.

The maths doesn’t add up. If we have all of these wonderful things (in some cases) then why if we have:

1 = food, 1= warmth, 1 = electricity, 1 = objects              This so 4 + 1 (one being the human)

Do we still have suffering with things that the majority do not have? I do not want to ask the question, should we feel less sympathy for those in suffering with the 4; I would like to ask why is the 4 so high? Basic maths show that if you have one thing, in this case the resources of the Earth, and you keep taking away from it, then you will have 0. Yet the people that give us (EU, USA amongst others) these 4, are taking them away from somewhere else.

In Bangladesh, arsenic water is killing and has effected so many people. Some people have to drink the water because they simply have no choice. We sit proud on nations built on top of suffering. When will the day come when we make it LAW to help the poor and live as one. Nelson Mandela was a man that made this truth. He bound grit and heart with courage and determination to overcome inequality, finding that people are the same.

Yet this water argument is still sided. Russian and Americans fight with their companies to profit again from countries in Africa. They, with the IMF, corrupt officials, are exploiting resources, producing nothing positive for long-term infrastructure then leaving. Places that have electricity lines towering over their homes, yet they cannot use it. Damns have been created causing problems in water with high aluminium levels  amongst contamination.

Whilst we are on water.

How can nuclear waste be spilled out into the seas from Japan, just be ignored? Seas will soon flow with radio active fish (if they survive) and even worse contamination to rivers which has an effect on everyone.

This is to be continued but a thought for now.

Trees. Force.

© Copyright - All rights reserved - Julian Carstairs

Londons Blur – Photographer Julian Carstairs

Through darkness the patience weaves its roots over the scaled paw. It winds and binds, forcing route through fabrication and misery to embrace light and the ever nursing gas, air. It reads and spits the bad, an inverse law that only does one thing. It provides.

Fruit grows from seedlings so small, dragged through air and forced with weight through gravity. Through the bond that makes its hold, rigid like a casket. Keeping the whatever it is on the inside. Fixing it up and adding to it. The basic principles of cause and effect. One thought surely pushes on the earth in some way. If I press down, then forced will be applied. If particles are travelling through the air, through the sea’s of worlds to the vessels in our blood. We are surely being effected. Big or small. Without our moon. Well I don’t think it would be good that’s all. But truth remains to bind us, to elevate us, to believe in substance. Let’s face it that without it we would probably be mush.

Thought’s that surround this are of such complexity, or maybe such simplicity that it naturally accustoms oneself to wander. Beyond the open doors hold keys to other doors. Questions arouse out of other questions, looking with perspective to mould, intertwine with. Passport places revel in co-ordination, complicit legation. Where is the humanity? World’s so apart yet not that far. A choice of flights and maybe a contact number. I am away. Another country, a different start, a single mind. Stories travelling to the next, building faster, rationale opens doors to the next. Intertwined.

For what?

Let the luxury’s of all life be for all men, women and children. Build together. Live together. Prosper together. It can only start with the self. So get moving and feel the earth push upwards. You may be in for a surprise.



We make the ascent to greatness through the necessity to move forward. Initiation of the mind is only the beginning to what will be the greatest days of our lives. The realisation that the present is something that is of such importance, would bind you to madness not to realise it. Dwindling that thought, letting it subside, erode away like a mountain cavity in the snow. Only to find that the mountain get’s taller and rises, rises around a fortified wall with guns and cannons only to realise your locked in. A cell has buried you. That is what will happen when your mind finds nothing great, nothing worthy. The wall gets taller as time; ticks; tocks.

Greatness comes at the cost of knowing greatness.

Ascension. Greatness does not find its medium in the acknowledgement of rising or falling. Slowly it embraces a path, manifesting in challenges and tasks that confront the basis of right and wrong. Subjective it cannot be. It is not given by man, by an animal that see’s greatness in acquisition, in materialistic things. Generalist is the previous statement. Not all follow a morality that is based on acquisition, some do not however live presently enough to know that they do. Sometimes greatness is earnt, like a tree. Fighting the calamities of weather and sun to produce truly, a gift. Fruit.

It is said in a book, in which we judge time, that ascension happened to a man. Flying through air, bird like. Tits were squawking amongst the tree’s, indisposed by survival. Plane’s ascend, we should not take greatness by the hands of literal ascension. Nor should it be thought of polarised in light and even less so by acquisition. Greatness is not in the blood, so you shall keep your title Magnus.

Whether something, someone or a place, noun, verb is said to be great, it is only in one encapsulated, primary and sole view or in many views. Greatness happens so often, for small parts of time, sometimes long, subtly merging itself during cold days and warm ones. Greatness is the present and I thank my ancestors for realising it. 



Presence & Hate


Instances of hate that unwillingly erupt in your mind link the acknowledgement of illegality or wrong. Hard to bash down like a cypher that never breaks, never loses faith to the wall and never backs down to truth. Melancholy in the most abusive of forms eradicates the emotion and mentalities of pleasantry, of joy, of happiness.

The one thing we pass off like we are owed it, like it is by some form of theistic faith that determines that one man shall be good and shall have  his reward when he kills others. Can you judge the man with no education, no family, no friends, no prosperity, no idea? For he has been given worth and prosperity in a new world of violence, fascist doctorate and information fallen from the blood of men.

Can you tell me where the pleasantries of man are when you sit privileged looking down on peasants? The poor. The needy. The worthless. Consciousness is harder to handle than the acknowledgement of pleasantries, mounding upwards and upwards until clouds look like pillows and people like ants. Not all is bad. Not all is good either.

The treatment of X compared to Y, he to she, it to the. Self realisation is a god. A god of truth. It compels man to know what is happening. Breaking boundaries to feel that my presence is real. Knowing that suffering, every tiny bit of hate, of friction, of fire, arms emotion to feel for those that are suffering in the present. Not in the past, not I will think. I DO THINK. Suffering occurs and affects all men, if my thought of them can minimise their pain, let me think, think, think again.